Come and sit a spell
Let's talk about how things are, how things could be,
and the state of life in general
and the state of life in general
Beliefs, Habits and the Ego
Whew, that title is a mouthfull isn't it?
Been doing A LOT of reading during the Covid pandemic and I have come to some conclusions about self-help and who we really are. Lots more than just one blog post but to start I want to address those things that I always talk about in my Personal Development classes that I have taught for years and add some of the newer things that I have learned this past year.
First of all let me give you the authors that I have read up to this moment in time. I have been a follower of Mike Dooley, Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, as well as others including my research into Hawaiian spiritualism. Lately I have been reading Eckhart Tolle and Debbie Ford as well as having some readings done and research into the whole Human Design phenomena.
I love quotes so here are the quotes that led to this blog post:
Your beliefs become your thoughts.
Your thoughts become your words.
Your words become your actions.
Your actions become your habits.
Your habits become your values.
Your values become your destiny. attributed to Gandhi
It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them. attributed to B. Franklin
I have taught for years that what we think about is what we become and that our habits become us as well as the fact that our beliefs shade how we look at the world. Our beliefs begin the cycle as in the quote above, but where do our beliefs come from?
Many, if not all, of our beliefs are learned. We learn from our parents, our teachers, our peers, the books we read and our experiences in life. But how many of our beliefs are actual truths. We can look at history to see how beliefs have played out over time when an entire group of people is led to believe something that is not true in fact!
AND, our beliefs about certain things - life, love, money, people, success - are what create the habits that we continue to use every day. If you think that money is the root of all evil (not the actual Biblical quote by the way) then maybe you will have a hard time charging the true price for a service you offer in your business or think that having financial success is a bad thing. If that is true then you may be self-sabatoging your own goals for your business or employment opportunities.
So, on to EGO! Most people think of ego as the definition of I, the who I am used in psychoanalysis. Or, someone with a big ego who has a large image of their self-importance. Or, a persons self-image or self importance as in - their ego was wounded by that remark. In Philosophy the ego comprises that whole person meaning their physical body and their soul. And in Ethnic studies, ethnology, the ego is a generalisation or central reference of a group of people, organizational structure or their kinship.
Ego comes from our beliefs and thoughts about who we are and it is the ego part of our brain that creates our words and actions and ultimately our habits and values. Our ego is what is "in our head" telling us how we should act in a given situation and then creates that definition of who we are - good, bad or indifferent. If we "think" we know more than another person or group of people we then act in a different way from if we are just learning something for the first time in a classroom situation. Of course those people who think they already know what a teacher is teaching will act in aa different way in the classroom situation.
The ego that puts thought in our head is sometimes the "voice" that needs to be turned off so that we can really appreciate life and move in the direction of our goals. Many of my goals have been stifled because of that voice in my head that has said, "You are not good enough" or "You don't know enough" or "no one will want to learn anything from you".
Take some time after reading this and review how those thoughts may have played on in your life AND where those thoughts actually came from to begin with.
Okay, so it's been a while since I talked about Infinite Possibilities. Have I given up on IP and Thoughts becoming Things? Absolutely not! The things have just started happening that have been in my thoughts. But more about that in another post. The third Lesson in Infinite Possibilities Training deals with your Emotions.
If you got through Lesson 2 about Beliefs then you are really ready for this lesson. But to recap, it is your "learned" beliefs that can sometimes get in the way of where you want to be. If you really took a look at those things I mentioned - Life, Money, Love, Success - were the beliefs you have about them yours through experience or did someone tell you that is what they were like? Remember that nothing else affects your thoughts more than your beliefs about certain things. If you think life is hard, then it becomes hard because you have convinced yourself, through your belief system, that it is hard.
So the first thing you have to change are your beliefs for it is these beliefs that influence our thoughts and then our action (or lack of action). SO in order to change our thoughts we need to change our beliefs and the way to do that is to give up on negative thoughts. AND guess what? We DO get to chose what we think and believe in order to build a life based on what you want. So by starting to think and speak what you want to believe you being to create new beliefs about how your life can be.
As I have stated before, thoughts build ideas, ideas stir emotions, emotions create action, actions are the physical manifestation of the original thought. Tada! Thoughts become things!
So we are past the thoughts build ideas and now are ready for the emotions that come with those thoughts.
Sometimes when it seems that things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.
I don't know where I saw that quote but it so often seems to fit perfectly with what goes on in life. We feel like things are falling apart and then all of a sudden we realize that they have fallen into place regardless of the emotional upheaval we may have been in.
Emotion - One of life's greatest gifts and also one of our greatest enemies it seems. The definition of emotion is "our perception of a person or event". It is a feeling or reaction to an event in life, whether happy, sad, angry, depressed or elated. Emotions are a product of our beliefs and perceptions. They are a feedback system so to speak of what has just happened, is happening or that we anticipate happening. Sometimes the unpleasant or negative emotions that we have can point to limited beliefs about the situation that we are experiencing.
Take a look back of the last week and try to sort out the emotions that you have had. Frustration, excitement, fulfillment, happiness, sadness. What were the causes of these emotions?
Emotions are always based on our perspective about a situation and they arise from our beliefs. The ones you thought about when I asked above are indirectly related to the causes, but they are directly related to your underlying beliefs and perceptions about those causes. Our beliefs shape our perceptions and then create our emotions. SO beliefs give rise to our thoughts and also to our emotions.
So our beliefs (and our thoughts about them) lead to the experience and the perceptions of the experience leads to our emotions (which is how we respond, react or feel about the experience) which then becomes our memory of the experience.
Belief - People are loving and generous; they want to be helpful
Perception - I can trust my family and friends; I live in a safe and giving world
Typical Emotion - Carefree, happy
Belief - People cannot be trusted; they will take advantage of you if given the chance.
Perception - I will not trust others. I could become a victim if I'm not careful. Life is not easy
Typical Emotion - Scared, defensive.
Our emotions and how we respond to situations in life not only reveal where we have been but also where we are going. If we always respond with a negative emotion then that negativity will shape our future. We need to come to terms with the unpleasant and negative thoughts that we may have so that we will not continue to have unpleasant recurring experiences in the future. We need to change what we choose to think. It takes practice and persistence and the first step is to examine your beliefs and perceptions.
Take some time to look back at the emotions that you have had during the last few days and begin to try to imagine a way that you could have changed those emotions and the belief system that was attached to them. Changing your beliefs about the things that happen around you can help you to change the emotion that becomes attached to that experience and by changing an emotion about an experience will help you process that experience in the future.
Remember that the emotion attached to an experience go back again to your beliefs about that experience. Change your beliefs and change the outcome of an experience.
Lesson Two - Beliefs
I'll see it when I believe it! -Wayne Dyer
So what are your thoughts about the following things?
Now consider why you think the way you do about them.
These are your beliefs about these things! You may think that what you think about them are just some observations based upon your realities about them, but in actuality they are your beliefs about them and these beliefs will create help to create your reality based on your thoughts about them. Maybe your first thought about life was that it was hard. Maybe it is only hard because you started thinking it was hard. Don't think so? Then why is life easier for some people.
When you start thinking something, no matter if you are "right" or "wrong", helpful or unhelpful, you automatically start thinking similar thoughts. AND those thoughts become the things and events of your life. It is when you understand that where you are in your present life is a direct result of your thoughts and beliefs that you understand that where you need to go first is to those thoughts and beliefs to make a change!
You know, you can't make something happen without first believing that it can happen. The belief in something comes before we make it happen. The Wright Brothers believed in flight long before their first plane actually flew! Belief is why people succeed in sports, music, business and absolutely everything else. Your life won't change until your beliefs about life change. But here's the good news, you can change your beliefs.
Most people think that their beliefs come from their life experiences but where did your life experiences come from? They come from your thoughts!
Let's take the following example: You're driving down the road and all of a sudden your gauges register that your engine is overheating. You pull to the side of the road and phone your significant other about your problem. Two conclusions are made about this episode:
This may not be the best example, but it is an example of how thoughts play into the lives of many people, causing them stress and anxiety in their lives. But people don't see the connection between their beliefs, their thoughts and their experiences. If you look back at things that have happened in your life you might just begin to see the proof that your beliefs and thoughts about something is what made it happen in just such a way.
As I have stated in other posts it is your thoughts that create your reality and now we can add into that mix the belief in something that creates the thoughts. "To master your thoughts, and therefore your life and destiny, you must first master your beliefs." You get to choose what you think and believe and by choosing you build your life.
If you think about 2 positive thoughts and 2 negative thoughts what do these thoughts reveal about your underlying beliefs. If you change these beliefs you can change your thoughts and therefore your life.
Let's break this down into the conscious and sub-conscious mind.
The conscious mind, based on free will - the ability to think whatever we want, can accept or reject thoughts. What this means is that when a negative thought starts you have the ability to reject the negative and turn it into a positive. This is the part of your mind where you are consistently thinking about things. And whatever you consistently think about ultimately gets stored in the sub-conscious mind.
The sub-conscious mind if filled with conditioned or fixed thoughts. These are the things that your conscious mind has thought about for so long that they are now stored and are left to function in every cell of the body. These become habits and they are not able to be rejected unless changed by the conscious mind. This is where the free will comes in again! You can change your thoughts but first you must change your beliefs.
Choose new thoughts, words and behaviors and your life experiences and then your beliefs will change to mirror those changes. There are 3 steps for installing new beliefs. 1. Choose beliefs that serve your life. 2. Claim these beliefs through your thoughts and words. 3. Act as if these beliefs are true every day.
1. Create a list of belief that you'd like to possess. Beliefs about life, yourself, your body, money, love, other people and being successful.
2. After you know what you want to believe, then start thinking and speaking as if you already believed it. I love my life, life is good. I am happy, healthy and prosperous. I am the perfect size. I have abundance. See how it works?
3. Act as if these beliefs are true every day. Live your new beliefs! Act as if they were yours by behaving in ways that reinforce them. Think about them when you get out of bed, when you choose your food, what you will wear or where you will go, who you will be friends with and in every decision that you make.
And remember - sometimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.
"Happy, successful and wealthy people are proof that you don't have to be blessed, spiritual and perfect, you just have to dream and believe in those dreams." - Mike Dooley
All that we are is a result of what we have thought. - Buddha
What you think creates the life that you have. For this first lesson I like to use the model and concept originated by Dr. Thurman Fleet of San Antonio, Texas. Dr. Fleet was the founder of Concept Therapy. This works out to the same idea as thoughts become things only on a more physiological level. The actual functioning of the mind. Now I know what you are "thinking". If thoughts become things then why am I not a millionaire, or why haven't I met the perfect mate, or why are my children struggling, why am I struggling. Look at those verbal representations of your thoughts. See the negative connotations there?I am not a doctor, nor am I a professed self-help speaker or even a talk-type therapist. I am a student! And my studies tell me that this "stuff" works. As Henry Ford once said: If you think you can't, you're right!
Let's look at the mind as divided between the conscious and sub-conscious. And yes as an anatomy instructor I realize that it is not that simple, but humor me here and just stick with me for a bit. The conscious mind is the thinking mind. This is your free will. The thoughts that you choose to accept are most definitely the ones that determine your life. If you determine that life is going to be hard and that you will never get ahead without (fill in the blank) then I can guarantee that is how your life will turn out. You are a product of your environment and what you have set as your beliefs.
The sub-conscious mind is the conditioned mind. This is where everything that you have accepted as true from your conscious mind is stored. There is no free will here. Whatever you accept at the conscious level gets stored here - good, bad or indifferent. If you look around you right now you will find that what you see are a reflection of your thoughts up to this point - good, bad or indifferent.
Once the sub-conscious accepts a thought, that idea will continue to express itself without any conscious assistance. They become habits. And the way these habits are expressed are through your body's actions. Those thoughts or ideas that you have consciously chosen and imprinted upon the sub-conscious move your body into actions through the emotions that they create in you. The actions that are taken determine the results - the things of your life. To paraphrase Napoleon Hill, What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve.
Thoughts build ideas, ideas stir emotions, emotions create action, actions are the physical manifestation of the original thought. Tada! Thoughts become things!
To change the result you need to change your thoughts, emotions and actions. Keep it simple.
So what have you created up till now, what are you creating now and what will you create for your future?
Your Past Thoughts: Think of at least one example of thoughts you have had about some of the following:
Your Present Thoughts: Now think about what you currently think about in your life? Are these thoughts positive or negative, empowering or limiting, loving or fearful. Be honest with yourself. Negative thoughts are normal so don't beat yourself up about them. But take some time and think of some examples for the following:
So what can we do about the negative thoughts that we may have? AND we ALL have them! Worrying about anything gives it power. Do your best to stop them and keep yourself positive. If you are watching a program on TV and it becomes boring what do you do? You change the channel! That is exactly what you need to do with negative thoughts. Bring back a happy, pleasant or uplifting memory from the past and think about that. If money is an issue, start thinking about tens, twenties or even fifties in your wallet rather than the thought of running out. If you job is boring or you think people don't like you; begin to imagine a job where you are excited to get up every morning and people being drawn to you because you are so outgoing and positive. Tony Robbins calls this a state change. Change the state of mind you are in and move to a different state. Will tell you that when my daughters were younger we used this in an even more fun way. Since they had traveled a bit when they were younger, they got used to "state" change if they were being fussy or arguing as a way to think about a different state they may have traveled to and the fun they had there! Are you reading this Tony!
One caveat - as Genie says in Aladdin "and ixnay on the wishing for more wishes and you can't make someone love you!" In other words you can't force or manipulate other people, they have their own thoughts! But this also means that no one can force or manipulate you also, unless you let them. You can, however, attract like-minded people to you - that potential mate or business partner, client or customer. If you are trying to attract someone into your life, don't concentrate on a specific person but rather on the type of person you want, the way you want to feel with them and then allow the best person to be attracted to you based on those thoughts and feelings.
Your Future Thoughts: So what are some positive, empowering, loving thoughts that you would like to have for the future? Ignore what is currently happening in your life and write down the thoughts you would have if you life was already fantastic in these areas:
Guidelines for Visualizing (from the Infinite Possibilities Workbook)
Emotion is pure power. It is the emotion associated with a thing that drives the body to manifest what the mind is creating. Start practicing visualization today!
Mike Dooley says that "luck"is what happens when true understanding is followed by action. It was a serendipitous moment for me when I walked into a Books a Million bookstore in Sanford, Florida about 15 years ago and Mike Dooley was there promoting his book Totally Unique Thoughts. The synchronicity happened when a few years later, in Hawaii, I purchased a keychain that had a saying from the very same book. "Life's an illusion just waiting for you, to believe in your dreams so that they can come true!
Your dreams can come true, all you have to do is start with a vision and then take steps on the road to that vision, or goal, or definite purpose as defined by Napoleon Hill. Dr. Wayne Dyer says "You'll see it when you believe it", not the standard "I'll believe it when I see it". All you have to do is start!
So what is the start, how do you begin.
In the Infinite Possibilities coursework you begin by doing a little self analysis. What are the things that you have been told about certain aspects of your life? What do you think that you know about life, God, people, success or why you are even here? Take a minute and think about that. What are some of the "sayings" that you associated with life? Life is hard. Life is unfair. In order to get anywhere in life you have to work hard.
What about Success? In order to succeed you have to work hard at it. To be a success you have to give up things.
What about people in general? People are crazy. Be careful of strangers. Always watch your back.
What about God? God is All Powerful, the creator, omnipotent, judgemental.
All of these "things" that you "know" about these aspects of life are based on what you have been taught through thoughts or teachings from other people. They have become your belief system. And sometimes, in fact most times, they are from the experiences of other people, not from your own life experiences. Where do you think many prejudices come from. We are not born with those prejudices but rather are taught to us by parents, elders and the prejudices of others. AND they continue because that is what we think will be the outcome of a situation.
In the Infinite Possibilities coursework you are taught that the real truths of life include:
2. Dream, imagine and visualize.
3. Take daily action moving in the direction of our dreams and goals.
Doesn't that sound a lot more pleasant than what you may have been lead to believe? Haven't you seen some of this in your own life? When you ask yourself the hard questions about life and really accept the reality that what we have built is of our own making and then understand that we also have the power to change that reality, then we understand that blindly accepting another person's answers to our questions is not the real truth about life.
If you are beginning to think that what I have suggested here just might be the way to approach your own goals and dreams, then stay right here as I address those topics that may have been puzzling you up to this point. Topics like:
How can I make my thoughts become things? Hint, you're doing it right now!
How can I change those limiting beliefs that have held me back for so long? Visualize!
What about the emotions that limit or control me? They are the reactions to life events.
How can I take the action to make things happen? Hint, you just might be doing that right now too!
What is faith and the meaning of life? Ahhh, the big questions!
My goal is to take you through the Infinite Possibilities Coursework by giving some brief talks about each chapter, but if you want more in depth information or to interact with other people please check my education page for dates, times and locations of Introductory talks and Group meetings.
Next: Thoughts Become Things
An Aha Moment!
This morning I logged into Facebook and discovered Dr. Joe Dispenza through a post by someone in my Infinite Possibilities Group!
Thoughts Become Things from the scientific viewpoint. Those of you who know me, know that I can't just teach something but that I need to know the background of the answers. Consider that I can't just tell you about Lyme's Disease in Pathology but need to give you the entire background of why it is named Lyme's and then what first occurred, etc. The history of the pathology.
It is the same with listening to Dr. Dispenza. The science of how your thoughts become memories in the brain and create chemical reactions that stimulate the brain through emotion and create new circuits within the brain.
Talk about Synchronicity! Reading Napoleon Hill, creating my own document, preparing for an Infinite Possibilities (IP) talk and along comes a FaceBook post about Dr. Joe Dispenza. Thank you Universere - it is all coming together!
Science and Spirituality are coming together for me!
Paula J Kaprocki, LMT
I am a Licensed Massage Therapist with thoughts, aspirations and opinions - much like any other person on the planet!