Goal Post - see how I made that a Football reference? Not really, I just happened but this is the last in my posts about how to not reach your goals.
When we set goals we expect to make them a reality but as you have seen in the previous posts that doesn't always happen. Another way we sabotage our goals is by letting jealousy and comparison halt our progress.
When someone we know has set some of the same goals as us and we see them succeeding where we have not we then become jealous and compare what they have done or are doing with where we are or what we have done. Stop! We are all different and reach our goals in different ways. By looking at another's way of doing things and comparing them to what we are doing we begin to doubt what we are doing when perhaps we should take of notes and possibly rethink that way we are doing things. And don't let thoughts that they have an in, or they are just lucky, or whatever else comes into your mind about the other peson cloud your perspective. Keep moving ahead and possibly readjust to make it to your own goals.
The other thing may be that you are not surrounding yourself with postive people who have made goals and are making them happen. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most of your time with. Make the people you associate with the good ones who will be positive about the goals you have set for yourself and help you to achieve them if required.
Decide what it is you want - Write that shit down and then make the damn plan!
AND...work on it!
Reread what I have said will sabotage your goals and then do the exact opposite!
What are the things that you want in your life and what are the things you don't want?
Where are you now and where to do you want to be?
Do each of those have 2 answers? They probably do. Most people do not have the things that they want in their life and are not where they want to be.
To continue to get what you don't want and stay where you are then this is what you have to do.
1. Continually talk about where you currently are in life.
Are you at a place that is not where you wanted to be? Do you express that to everyone that you talk to?
Examples: I don't like my job, but I guess I am stuck there. I really would like to have someone in my life but I guess I'm stuck being single. I don't know why things keep happening the way they do to me. I'm not good enough. I guess no one wants what I can give. I'm bored, I'm lonely, I'm overweight.
2. Continually talk about what you don't have.
Examples: The job I have is so meaningless. I'm single. I'm fat. I'm stuck in a loveless marriage. I don't have as much money as I would like. I don't have any clients. I don't have any hope. I don't have a _______________.
The law of attraction states that what you attract is what you will get, so continuing to talk about where you currently are will keep you where you currently are. What you think about you create. So by continually expressing that which you don't want will get you exactly that!
The best way to get to where you want to be is to make goals, write them down and then check them regularly. A planner helps you do this. Just recently I found the Commit30 planner which I am going to be using this year. Also, Mike Dooley has just created a new planner called Be Led by Joy which I may look at also to decide which one I want to use next year.
Remember that when you start making your goals to go by the old rule of being SMART in setting goals.
S - Specific - Spell out the goal that you want to achieve in very specific terms.
M - Measurable - You may need to create the steps that are needed to achieve the goals so write them down to so that you can measure your success as you check your goals.
A - Achievable/Attainable - Make sure you can actually achieve the goal. If you need to make another goal that you must achieve to get to the big goal then write that one down first so that you can adhieve that one first. Sometime goals need steps to be attainable.
R - Relevant - Make sure the goal pertains to where you want to be. There may be lots of things that you would like to do but if you have a Definite Purpose, as Napoleon Hill says, then make sure that each of your goals will get to the final end result.
T - Time-bound or Timely - this means that there are steps that you can set that happen at specific times or in a specific order. You may need to set some specific dates in order to keep you on task.
Break your goals into smaller goals to keep them each attainable. Large, unobtainable, and overwhelming may make for failure from the onset. Keep them in small specific goals to keep you on track.
Stay tuned for more info in the next few days.
One more bridge to cross is what my mother said as we were coming down the west coast of Florida on one of our annual mother-daughter Florida winter trips.. Many rivers and streams flow into the Gulf of Mexico so there were a lot of bridges! This got me thinking. How many bridges have we already crossed in life to get to where we are today? There always seems to be one more bridge to cross to get to our destination. Will we never get there?
Where or what is it you are trying to get to? Are you always looking for the next bridge? And what is that bridge keeping you from? Will you even know when you've crossed the last bridge?
Lots of stuff came to mind when she made that statement, especially since I am in the midst of some big things in my life again. At the time of that trip the house that we have been planning for the last 20 years was finally into the final stages of fruition and we kept crossing tiny bridges to get to the end of that road. Now I at another "bridge" so to speak as I mull over what the next step will be in life.
In life we cross many "bridges"; experiences that get us to the next phase of life. But how often do we put up emotional "bridges" that keep us from getting to the next phase or the level? Too often the things that are keeping us back are self made. We sometimes set ourselves up to fail or be held back by building an imaginary bridge that we think we need to get over to move on. I have often told clients and students that if you can't get home the way you normally go because of an accident or impasse on the road, wouldn't you find another way? A detour? That is what happens in our thinking and the end result of a goal that we have set. If the first method doesn't work then it is time to find another way. Another route to get over the bridge.
The other way of thinking about bridges is that they are way to get over something that you wouldn't normally be able to get across or that would be hazardous or impossible to get across without the bridge. So the positive side of a bridge is that it is there to help you overcome obstacles. So no matter how many bridges you have to cross, they are there to get you safely around or over the obstacle.
As with any of our issues in life, there is always another way of looking at them. It is true that sometimes bad things do happen; things that we have no control over. That doesn't mean that we need to let the bad thing keep us from staying on course. There is always the next bridge to cross. The bridge that gets us over the defeat or inconvenience.
Think of the bridge not as one more to cross but as a shorter path to get to where you want to go. A way to meet challenges and move on to the next step.